How to deal with Stress!

How to deal with Stress!

We generally use the word “stress” when we feel that everything seems to have become too much – we are overloaded and wonder whether we really can cope with the pressures placed upon us.

Stress is necessary for life. You need stress for creativity, learning, and your very survival. Stress is only harmful when it becomes overwhelming and interrupts the healthy state of equilibrium that your nervous system needs to remain in balance. Unfortunately, overwhelming stress has become an increasingly common characteristic of contemporary life. When stressors throw your nervous system out of balance, relaxation techniques can bring it back into a balanced state by producing the relaxation response, a state of deep calmness that is the polar opposite of the stress response.

When stress overwhelms your nervous system your body is flooded with chemicals that prepare you for “fight or flight”. While the stress response can be lifesaving in emergency situations where you need to act quickly, it wears your body down when constantly activated by the stresses of everyday life. The relaxation response puts the brakes on this heightened state of readiness and brings your body and mind back into a state of equilibrium.

 

The storm before the calm.

 When we are stressed the following happens:

• Blood pressure rises
• Breathing becomes more rapid
• Digestive system slows down
• Heart rate (pulse) rises
• Immune system goes down
• Muscles become tense
• We do not sleep (heightened state of alertness)

You may respond best to relaxation techniques that quiet you down, such as meditation, deep breathing, or guided imagery, you may respond best to relaxation techniques that are stimulating and that energize your nervous system, such as rhythmic exercise.

 

Practicing deep breathing meditation

The key to deep breathing is to breathe deeply from the abdomen, getting as much fresh air as possible in your lungs. When you take deep breaths from the abdomen, rather than shallow breaths from your upper chest, you inhale more oxygen. The more oxygen you get, the less tense, short of breath, and anxious you feel.

1-Sit comfortably with your back straight, Put one hand on your chest and the other on your stomach.

2-Breathe in through your nose. The hand on your stomach should rise. The hand on your chest should move very little.

3-Exhale through your mouth, pushing out as much air as you can while contracting your abdominal muscles. The hand on your stomach should move in as you exhale, but your other hand should move very little.

4-Continue to breathe in through your nose and out through your mouth. Try to inhale enough so that your lower abdomen rises and falls. Count slowly as you exhale.

If you find it difficult breathing from your abdomen while sitting up, try lying on the floor. Put a small book on your stomach, and try to breathe so that the book rises as you inhale and falls as you exhale.

Practicing progressive muscle relaxation

Before practicing Progressive Muscle Relaxation, consult with your doctor if you have a history of muscle spasms, back problems, or other serious injuries that may be aggravated by tensing muscles.

Most progressive muscle relaxation practitioners start at the feet and work their way up to the face. For a sequence of muscle groups to follow, see the box below.

1-Loosen your clothing, take off your shoes, and get comfortable.

2-Take a few minutes to relax, breathing in and out in slow, deep breaths.

3-When you’re relaxed and ready to start, shift your attention to your right foot. Take a moment to focus on the way it feels.

4-Slowly tense the muscles in your right foot, squeezing as tightly as you can. Hold for a count of 10.

5-Relax your right foot. Focus on the tension flowing away and the way your foot feels as it becomes limp and loose.

6-Stay in this relaxed state for a moment, breathing deeply and slowly.

7-When you’re ready; shift your attention to your left foot. Follow the same sequence of muscle tension and release.

8-Move slowly up through your body, contracting and relaxing the muscle groups as you go.

.It may take some practice at first, but try not to tense muscles other than those intended

Tip: Smile even when you don’t feel like it. Your body chemistry changes when you smile and makes you feel better automatically. This will ease the stress of others around you as well.

How to Manage a Micromanaging Boss

Every morning when I arrived at my office, I used to find a to-do list printed out and neatly laid on my keyboard, courtesy of my boss. But this wasn’t a typical bulleted list — it was a long (upwards of three pages), drawn-out document, where each bullet point was accompanied by paragraphs of elaboration, laying out to the very smallest of details exactly how I should accomplish the task.

And as I stared at this book (er, document), wondering if it would somehow look less menacing after my morning coffee, I couldn’t help but think, Wouldn’t it have taken her less time to just complete the things on the list? And the micromanaging didn’t stop there — she constantly asked for updates on my progress, added to and modified the list, and ultimately refused to let me do my job on my terms.

For a while, I thought it was impossible to change my boss’s overbearing ways without completely offending her (and risking my job!). But over time, I did. And luckily, there are several ways you can show your boss that you’re in control — and loosen her grip a little bit, too.

Eliminate Any Possibility That She Needs to Micromanage

Once I’d experienced my boss’s micromanaging for a few weeks, I assumed there wasn’t anything I could do but succumb to it. Since I knew she was going to remind me about my deadlines and check on my progress multiple times a day, I figured there was no reason for me to duplicate her efforts. And while my work was still getting done on time (I couldn’t really ignore all those emails titled “Urgent!”), I was probably sending her the message that I couldn’t manage my workload without her so-called “help.”

So, first things first: Take a hard look at your recent attitude, productivity, and track record to make sure that you aren’t doing anything to solicit such nitpicking. Are you unintentionally (or intentionally) letting your work slip through the cracks? Do you show up late? Miss deadlines? In this case, of course she’s going to try to manage every detail — because she’s worried that you can’t.

Anticipate What She Wants — and Act

A lot of the tasks my boss assigned me (and constantly reminded me about) were tasks I knew I was supposed to do — she just wanted to make extra sure that I had them on my radar. It was incredibly frustrating when she’d walk into my office to say, “Hey, I just wanted to remind you that we need to get the weekly schedule emailed out today,” when I was already well aware of the assignment. (Seriously, I did it every week.)

So, a great start to halting micromanagement in its tracks is to anticipate the tasks that your manager expects and get them done well ahead of time. If you reply, “I actually already left a draft of the schedule on your desk for your review,” enough times, you’ll minimize the need for her reminders. She’ll realize that you have your responsibilities on track — and that she doesn’t need to watch your every move.

Provide Updates Proactively

Micromanagers want to be in control — that’s why they frequently ask for updates, tell you how to complete tasks, and check in incessantly to make sure that things are going according to schedule. Since they can’t actually complete every project themselves (that’s why they hired you, after all), micromanaging helps them stay as involved as possible.

To head this off, try proactively sending your manager regular updates, before she has a chance to ask for them. Every morning, pull together an email outlining what you accomplished the day before, what you plan on accomplishing that day, and if you have any questions or need any input.

This will serve multiple purposes: First, your boss will know exactly where your current workload stands, staving off her constant questioning. Second, with a quick glance, she’ll be able address your questions, provide input, or suggest ideas in one direct reply — which will help her feel involved, yet prevent her multiple mid-day check-ins. And third, she’ll eventually realize that you’re organized and detail-oriented and that you can manage your responsibilities without her constant intervention — so she’ll feel comfortable pulling back and giving up the reigns.

Use Your Words

When it comes to bosses and their management styles, confrontation doesn’t usually seem like a viable option. But in my case, I was working for a friend at a small start-up. She always encouraged her employees to bring up issues they were experiencing — even if they concerned the way she ran the business.

So during one of our one-on-one conversations, I carefully explained that I felt like she didn’t trust me with my work. She admitted that she had a hard time delegating and was used to doing everything herself. In short, she couldn’t “let go.” But she realized the effect it was having on my productivity and happiness, and she promised to make a better effort to step back and let me accomplish my work the way I wanted to.

Obviously, this won’t work in every situation. At my current (and much more corporate) job, I wouldn’t feel nearly as comfortable confronting my boss about such an issue. However, there are small — and respectful — ways you can express your opinion. For example, ask your boss for the opportunity to complete a small project on your own from start to finish, with the understanding that afterward, you’ll discuss what you did well and what you can improve upon next time.

Pose it this way: It’ll be a great learning opportunity and a chance for your boss to evaluate your work methods. And if you knock it out of the park, you’ll instantly convey that you can work independently of your manager’s constant input.

And as you notice differences in your manager’s behavior, let her know how much you appreciate the hands-off approach: “Thank you for trusting me with this project — having to create the plan and find the right resources on my own really helped polish my project management skills. I’d love the opportunity to take on something even bigger!”

Shifting your boss’s management style won’t be easy, and it certainly won’t be immediate. But if you can show her that you’re trustworthy, thorough, and ultimately, on top of your work, you’ll be able to inspire that change over time.